I love my sons dearly, but I'm under awful stress, says 84-year-old carer

Alphie Lonergan, an 84-year-old man living in rural County Armagh, is the main caregiver for his two adult sons, Ronan and Donall, both in their 40s and living with severe learning disabilities. The family has relied on support from a care package provided by the local Southern Health Trust, but this assistance has been drastically reduced. Originally, both sons received a combined three hours of care daily, which was cut to just one hour for one son earlier in 2024. Now, this remaining support is scheduled to end imminently.

Alphie described the toll this change is taking on his mental well-being, saying, “Thank God I’m in good shape, physically. Mentally I’m under awful, awful stress.” The reduction means that Alphie must provide nearly all daily care for his sons, who attend day centers in nearby towns but are otherwise fully dependent on him at home. Donall, who has autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder, currently receives help for just an hour each morning to get up and dressed, a process complicated by his routines of brushing his teeth multiple times and checking his shoelaces repeatedly before he is ready.

The Southern Health Trust acknowledged the strain placed on the family and apologized for the distress but pointed to staff shortages as the reason for withdrawing the care package. They said recruitment and retention, particularly in rural areas like Loughgilly where the family lives, remain significant challenges. The trust confirmed it is exploring various options to restore services, including reviewing staff rotas and consulting multidisciplinary teams, but so far, no additional support has been secured.

Despite having help from his two daughters, Alphie reports the situation affects the entire family. His daughters juggle their own jobs and children but are often called upon to provide urgent assistance. Alphie also struggles to get sufficient rest, especially as Donall often stays awake into the early hours, quietly moving about the house. “He’s very careful, he wouldn’t do any harm. But he walks about from room to room, closing doors. I’m aware of it, I can’t switch off,” Alphie explained. The family’s ordeal highlights the critical role unpaid carers play across Northern Ireland, where recent census data shows around 222,000 people provide unpaid care, many of them dedicating extensive hours each week to looking after loved ones

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